Thursday, December 17, 2015

These retro toys just SCREAM IT!


Back by popular demand, VGMH proudly presents its tongue-in-cheek updated listing of toys gone horribly wrong (or amazingly correct, depending upon the perspectives of the viewer).  So, here we humbly present a vintage cavalcade of fun vintage toys.

And speaking about mountain tops, back in 2014 Hasbro suddenly began fielding a host of complaints from parents horrified to discover that the “extruder tool” found in the Hasbro Inc. Play-Doh Sweet Shoppe Cake Mountain play set looked a lot like something that might be found in an adult sex toy shop (or their parent' night dresser drawer).


'ON STAGE' SUPERSTAR DOLL
No comment.

ALLAN
Every guy needs a buddy, and Allan was Ken's pal to hang out with when Ken wasn't trying to please that evil bitchy Barbie.  He was the first guy that made friends with studly Ken (the box he came in even says that Ken's clothes fit Al), and Al also became the boyfriend and even later the husband of mousey Midge. By then he had shortened his name to Alan. Alan went to Willows High School for a few years but moved in 1966 , the same as Midge. Perhaps they went together to explore the world.  The evil rumors that Midge caught Ken in Barbie's pink convertible one night, parked in a rest stop with Al's head bobbing up and down, they just are not true! Some say they've seen a guy who looks a lot like Allan living it up in the Castro, a bit older and definately over his one-time buddy Ken. Whatever happened to Midge?  Who cares?

GAY FIRE FIGHTING SET
Right on! Oh, wait...the company name was GAY! grrrrrrr

UNUSUAL ROBOT

There's just something about this toy's shape that I like...
He's Magic Alright...
 Rainbow Batman!
Maybe Santa first raised an enbrow after Jimmy wanted this bear coat hook.  Marketed mostly in Asian countries as an adhesive hook that makes hanging coats n' stuff fun for the whole family, they came two pricks to a package..errr bears to a package! 
THE CROTCH DRONE
He's called The Punisher. And his missile-launching dick delivers a pounding to it's desired target.
Looks Like Buzz has a Woodie!
No wonder he has that smile on his face!  Just look where people are sucking on him.





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